The New Nurse in Town
by Shell
Summary: Margaret must leave for a conference in Tokyo and her replacement is not what anyone expects. Takes place before
1. Part 1

"The New Nurse in Town"   
by Shell  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own in any character or plot line from the TV show M*A*S*H. They all belong to Twentieth Century Fox. I also do not make any money off of this story; you know the drill. Thanks for reading this story; I hope you like it.   
  
Author's Note: If you read my last story, you were introduced to a character named Lt. Miranda Johnson. Please remember that in this story, Miranda does NOT exist. It will be a lot less confusing. Thanks!   
  
Major Margaret Houlihan was standing in the 4077th M*A*S*H main office, wringing her hands. "Colonel, you know I hate to leave on such short notice, but these nurses' conferences in Tokyo is mandatory, and I-"   
  
Colonel Sherman Potter held up a hand. "Don't worry, Major. I'm sure everything will go as smoothly as possible without you for two weeks."   
  
Margaret nodded. "Did Radar give you all the instructions I made for my nurses?"   
  
Potter nodded. "Yes, Major-"   
  
"And the duty roster for the next two weeks?"   
  
"Yes, Major, I did. As a matter of fact, I called HQ when you told me you had to leave, and they were nice enough to-"   
  
Margaret interrupted again. "And, Colonel, with all due respect, try not to let Pierce and Hunnicutt allow their influences to rub off on my girls. I'm afraid without a leader with discipline; my nurses will begin to falter in O.R. And then where would that leave us?"   
  
Potter frowned deeply. "Major, if you would allow me to finish, I would be able to tell you that HQ is sending us one of their best nurses to take over for you while you're gone. A Major Carter. She should be here any moment."   
  
Margaret's eyes widened slightly. "You got a replacement, Colonel? I see. Well, I hope she can rise to somewhere close to my standards."   
  
Potter nodded. "I hope so too, Major. I hear she's one of the best. Radar!" He looked up to see the company clerk already standing inside the office. Potter sighed. The young clerk was always one step ahead of him. It was a theory that Radar O'Reilly could read minds, and Potter was beginning to believe it.   
  
"Is Major Houlihan's jeep here yet?"   
  
Radar shook his head. "No sir, but it just passed the last checkpoint. It should be here any moment. And I took the liberty of putting the Major's bags in the office so I can load them onto the jeep."   
  
"Thank you, Corporal," Margaret said with a nod. She turned to leave, but the office doors suddenly swung open to reveal Captains Hawkeye Pierce and B.J. Hunnicutt, both of their faces beaming.   
  
Margaret scowled. "What do you two want?"   
  
Hawkeye grinned broadly. "We just wanted to see you off, Margaret. We brought something for your liver. Beej?" B.J. presented a bottle and martini glasses, pouring a drink for each of them. Radar passed on his drink with a small shake of his head. "Radar wants to come out of this war with innocent organs, Beej," Hawkeye said with a smile.   
  
Hawkeye held up his glass in a toast. "To Margaret, may she have a safe and interesting trip in Tokyo. And to the rest of us who you are leaving behind, that this rare period of peace last forever."   
  
B.J. nodded. "Here, here. Margaret, with you leaving, one can only think of your good qualities. If I could think of any, I'd mention them."   
  
Margaret opened her mouth to respond, but Radar jumped in. "Jeep's in the compound." He rushed out of the office, leaving everyone else silent.   
  
"That's funny," B.J. remarked. "I don't hear anything."   
  
"That's Radar's gift," Hawkeye replied. "It's his special power. Don't you know that little leprechauns are magical?"   
  
Radar stuck his head back in the office. "Your jeep's ready, Major. You better hurry, though. Your plane leaves for Tokyo in an hour."   
  
Margaret nodded and turned to Potter. "Goodbye, Colonel. I hope my temporary replacement works out well." She glanced at B.J. and Hawkeye. "Goodbye, children." She turned and stormed out of the office.   
  
Hawkeye rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Replacement? Colonel, have you been hiding something from us?"   
  
"Don't you trust us, Colonel?" B.J. asked innocently. "I try to think of us as a family."   
  
"One that tells us when a new member is about to come," Hawkeye added. "Now we have no time to prepare."   
  
"That's exactly why I didn't let you too know about this," Potter said. "Who knows what torture you two would have up your sleeves if you had time to think about it? So please, be somewhat civil to this nurse. She has to last two weeks, you know. HQ says she's as strict on military protocol as Major Houlihan is."   
  
Hawkeye groaned. "Another Margaret? I thought this was going to be a vacation, Colonel. I don't think I could take another beating by army gibberish."   
  
"I'm beginning to get bruises," B.J. muttered.   
  
Potter shrugged. "I had no say in it, Pierce. I asked for a replacement, and HQ gave me Major Carter. We'll just have to live with it for two weeks. So children, please, play nice."   
  
  
  
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Company clerk Radar O'Reilly stood outside and watched as Major Houlihan's jeep disappeared in the distance. He took a deep breath and exhaled, glad to be free of the Major's iron fist for even a little while. He was about to head back into his office when he heard the sound of a second jeep come from behind him.   
  
Radar turned as the jeep stopped in front of him, and he immediately noticed the woman sitting in the backseat of the jeep. She wore the simple green uniform everyone in M*A*S*H units wore instead of the brown formal traveling uniform. She tucked a book she had been reading into one of her bags and hopped out of the jeep. Grabbing the rest of her things, she thanked the driver and the jeep drove off.   
  
Radar quickly approached. "Welcome to the 4077th, Major Carter," he said. "I can take your things to the VIP tent so you can get settled in."   
  
She smiled slightly and shook her head. "Corporal, fortunately, I'm not Major Carter."   
  
Radar's eyes widened. Apparently, the wrong nurse had been sent to the 4077th. That meant the right nurse was somewhere where she wasn't supposed to be, and he knew exactly who would be blamed for the mix up: him.   
  
"Oh no," he moaned. "How is this fortunate? Colonel Potter's gonna kill me! What am I gonna do?"   
  
She chuckled. "Corporal, slow down. You're going to run yourself clean into the ground. Everything's all right. Major Carter came down with the flu. HQ sent me instead. You should consider yourself lucky, though. Carter's a witch." She held out a hand. "Captain Claire Morgan, it's a pleasure."   
  
Radar nodded and shook her hand. "Radar O'Reilly. Colonel Potter should still be in his office. He'll probably want to hear this." He gestured in the office's direction. "I'll take you there."   
  
  
  
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Hawkeye and B.J. still sat in Potter's office, sharing drinks with the Colonel. Hawkeye seemed to study his half-empty glass of gin when he asked. "So what do you think our nurse will look like?"   
  
"She'll probably be old," B.J. said. "You know, around…ninety. And her voice will be the sound of a songbird drowning in hot tar."   
  
"And it's a voice we'll be hearing a lot," Hawkeye said with a sigh. "I can't help but cringe at the thought of her wrinkles moving when she speaks." He shuddered.   
  
Potter nodded as he sipped from his glass. "She's probably going to have a lot of problems with this nuthouse. I don't think I can live through the whining."   
  
"Nuthouse?" Hawkeye asked, aghast. "Colonel, this may be a nuthouse to you, but for us, it's home."   
  
Radar suddenly burst into the office, causing them all to jump. "Colonel, Major Carter's here, but it's not really her."   
  
Potter narrowed his eyes. "What else could she possibly be, Radar?"   
  
"Captain Claire Morgan, sir." He stepped aside and allowed a woman to enter the office. Hawkeye could feel his eyes widen as he looked at her. She was tall and slender, with deep blue-gray eyes and gold blonde hair that was pulled back. But what Hawkeye couldn't brake his gaze from was her face. She was lovely, with smooth skin and a bright aura about her. He could tell this was going to be a great two weeks, indeed.   
  
Hawkeye rose and shook her hand. "Captain, I'm Hawkeye Pierce, and this is B.J. Hunnicutt, your friendly surgeons. Claire, that's such a lovely name. How was your trip?"   
  
She was about to respond when Colonel Potter interrupted. "Captain, I'm Colonel Potter, CO of this unit. We seem to have a small mix up here. We were expecting a Major Carter…"   
  
She nodded. "Major Carter seems to have come down with a nasty flu, Colonel. Apparently HQ didn't mention the fact that I was coming."   
  
"No," Potter remarked. "That seemed to slip from their minds. But Major Houlihan is well prepared." He handed her the packet of Margaret's instructions. "Take these. Do what you want with them."   
  
Claire nodded with a smile as she flipped through the pages. "Margaret was always very thorough. Thank you, Colonel."   
  
"Wait a second," Hawkeye said suddenly. "Did you call her Margaret? Don't tell me you know her."   
  
"Or just happened to be related to her," B.J. added.   
  
"Margaret and I were in training together," Claire said with a smile. "I'm surprised she never mentioned me. But I was never a stickler for army protocol like she was. I think she was embarrassed to know me."   
  
"I beginning to like you more every second," Hawkeye said with a grin. "Captain, please allow myself and B.J. to show you around our little cesspool called home."   
  
Colonel Potter nodded. "Dismissed. But remember, you two. Try not to get into too much trouble."   
  
"Yes, dad," Hawkeye said. "Just ring the bell when dinner's ready." With that, he, B.J., and Claire disappeared through the office doors.   
  
  
  
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"And the last stop on our lovely tour is our humble abode affectionately named the Swamp."   
  
Hawkeye pushed open the door to the tent and allowed Claire to step inside with B.J. and Hawkeye following behind. "It really looks like you cleaned up the place," Claire said with a chuckle.   
  
"We try," B.J. replied. "But watch out for the rats. They get a bit testy when we step on them."   
  
"And speaking of rats," Hawkeye said, stepping over to the sleeping occupant in the cot across from his. "This is the biggest rat of them all, Major Charles Emerson Winchester, the third." He kicked the bed. "Get up, Charles. It's rude to snore with company here."   
  
Charles woke with a start, rubbing his eyes. "What do you want, Pierce?" He snapped. "Don't you know I can kill you for this?"   
  
"Charles, no death threats in front of the company," B.J. corrected. "And you call yourself a surgeon."   
  
Charles eyes focused on their guest, and he quickly got up, straightening his shirt as best as possible. "Please forgive my manners, Captain," he said, shaking her hand. "Are you replacing Major Houlihan for the time being?"   
  
"Yes, she is, Charles," Hawkeye said. "This is Captain Claire Morgan sent from heaven. Have a seat, and I'll pour us something to corrode our livers." He pulled out the martini glasses. "Want a drink, Charles? You look half dead."   
  
Claire nodded as Hawkeye handed her a drink. "He's right, Major. You look exhausted."   
  
"Last night's session of wounded lasted forever," B.J. put in.   
  
"Excuse me, gentlemen, Captain," Charles said in his most formal voice. "But a Winchester does not become exhausted. I am simply restoring the energy needed to operate efficiently in this madness." He drank his entire martini in one gulp and set the glass delicately on the stove. "Now, if you'll excuse me. I'm have some energy conservation to finish. It was a pleasure to meet you, Captain." He rose and found his way to his bunk, where he was asleep almost instantly.   
  
"Interesting fellow," Claire muttered.   
  
"Charles is still pretty new," B.J. said. "It's been pretty tough on him. I can relate. Almost. I don't come from a snotty background, but I can't wait to get out of here. I've got a beautiful wife and little girl waiting for me back home."   
  
"Speaking of home," Hawkeye said brightly. "You have anyone waiting for you back home, Captain?"   
  
She smiled. "It's Claire, and if my parents count, then yes. But to answer the question you're dancing around, I'm not married, engaged, or dating. Does that take care of everything, Captain?"   
  
Hawkeye grinned. "Almost. You forgot to mention any pets or where you're from. And please, it's just Hawkeye."   
  
"Two dogs and Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania." She took a sip from her martini, swallowing with a gasp and cough. "What is this?"   
  
"Our own special creation," B.J. said, gesturing over to their precious still. He glanced at his watch. "Two hours ago was a great year."   
  
Claire laughed. "This place is a lot better than Major Carter made it out to be, but I try not to believe anything she says. That woman makes Godzilla look like a kitten."   
  
"I'm glad we didn't have to bring out the reptile traps," B.J. muttered.   
  
They all turned suddenly as Radar burst into their tent. "There's another load of wounded coming on the choppers!" He cried. "Major Winchester, get up!" Charles groaned as Radar headed out of the tent.   
  
"I don't hear any choppers," Claire remarked.   
  
"Just wait for it!" Radar cried as he ran across the camp.   
  
"Come on," Hawkeye said with a sigh. "Time for your first trip to O.R." He held out his arm for her. "May I escort you to our destination, Madame?"   
  
"I'd like that, sir," Claire said, taking his arm as they headed out to triage.   
  
Colonel Potter glanced up from his work in O.R. to see how their temporary head nurse was holding up. He was relived to note that everything was running just as smoothly as always, but without Major Houlihan's sharp remarks to the nurses. Captain Morgan was handling the pressure well, assisting Hawkeye and keeping her eye on all the nurses at the same time.   
  
"Don't forget to get an accurate sponge count, Lieutenant," Claire called from her position across from Hawkeye. Nurse Able nodded quickly, her fingers quickly counting the sponges in front of her.   
  
"Have you worked at the front before, Captain?" Potter asked.   
  
"Yes, Colonel," she answered as she handed Hawkeye a clamp. "Before I was stationed in Tokyo, I was at the 8063rd. I was assistant head nurse."   
  
"Ah," Colonel Potter said. "You worked with our neighbors. Why were you transferred?"   
  
She paused a moment as she cleared the blood inside the wound so Hawkeye could see well. "It's a long story, Colonel. You could say the CO over there felt it was just the right time for me to go somewhere else."   
  
Potter nodded. "That happens to the best of us. Was the any mention of us over there?"   
  
"Quite a bit," Claire answered with a smile. "As a matter of fact, Captain Pierce's reputation has gone far and wide."   
  
"See Colonel," Hawkeye said, grinning beneath his surgical mask. "I told you I had fans all over Korea."   
  
"Can we please stop all this babbling?" Charles snapped from his end of the O.R. "The last thing I want to hear about is Pierce's escapades."   
  
"Charles is just jealous," B.J. said. "He doesn't have half the mileage under his belt as Hawkeye does."   
  
"That's disgusting!" Charles cried.   
  
"Alright, people," Potter jumped in. "Let's just get these wounded in one piece before you tear each other apart."   
  
A crash sounded in the O.R., and Hawkeye turned to see the remains of a bottle of blood on the floor. Nurse Kellye stood over the mess.   
  
"Sorry Captain Morgan," she said. "It was an accident…"   
  
"Forget about it," Claire said. "Just clean it up before someone falls in it. It's a killer to get blood out of white clothing. And don't let it happen again."   
  
"Yes, Captain."   
  
The agonizing session in O.R. only lasted four more hours, and soon Hawkeye and B.J. were strolling outside. The weather was pleasantly warm and it almost reminded Hawkeye of spring back home in Maine.   
  
B.J. squinted into the sun. "I almost forgot what the sun looks like. I think I might be going blind."   
  
"Isn't she great?" Hawkeye asked.   
  
B.J. cocked his head in confusion. "Who?"   
  
"Who?" Hawkeye cried. "What do you mean, who? The goddess sent from above! The woman of my dreams! Beauty personified!"   
  
B.J. chuckled. "Oh, you mean Claire. She's very charming."   
  
"Just charming? You're not giving the woman justice," Hawkeye said. "She's beautiful, witty, and intelligent. Plus she's a fabulous nurse. What more could you want? If you look up perfection in the dictionary, I'm positive her picture is there."   
  
"Hawk, don't you think you're getting a little too excited about her? I mean, she's only been here for six hours."   
  
Hawkeye grinned. "But that will only make the next two weeks even better."   
  
They both heard a soft chuckling behind them and turned to see Charles strolling behind them. "Forgive me for eavesdropping, gentlemen," he said. "But I couldn't help but overhear your most amusing conversation." He quickened his pace to walk alongside Hawkeye. "Pierce, if I may-"   
  
"Oh no, Charles," Hawkeye snapped. "The last thing I need some browbeating from you. I'm in too good of a mood for you to spoil it."   
  
"Pierce," Charles said, his tone hurt. "I was to do no such thing. I only have a question. Did you ever take into account that Captain Morgan's feelings may not match your own?"   
  
"I hate to say it, Hawk," B.J. said, glancing at Charles. "Believe me, I really hate to say this, but Charles does have a point for once."   
  
"Thank you, Hunnicutt," Charles said. "I think."   
  
Hawkeye shook his head. "I'm way ahead of both of you. You two just don't know how the mind of Hawkeye Pierce works."   
  
"Nor do we want to," Charles muttered.   
  
"Very funny, Charles. You may just have some wit after all. The fact is my charm wins out overall. And she's already taken to liking me."   
  
"That's a sure fire plan," B.J. said, his voice heavy with sarcasm.   
  
"Don't worry," Hawkeye said. "Everything will turn out as it's supposed to be. And if that doesn't work, I'll just help fate along."   
  
  
  
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Radar O'Reilly sat at his desk in the 4077th's main office, typing up that day's daily report. He included the mix up with Major Carter, and the arrival of Captain Morgan, giving as many details as possible. He was about to wrap things up when the phone rang.   
  
Radar grabbed the receiver with a swift motion of his hand. "4077 M*A*S*H," he answered.   
  
"Corporal, this is Major Houlihan." It was Margaret's voice on the other end of the phone, and Radar immediately sat up a little straighter. "I was just calling to see how things were going."   
  
"Uh, very well, Major," Radar said. "Thank you for asking. Aren't you busy with your nursing conferences?"   
  
"Of course I am," Margaret said a bit icily. "But as soon as I heard that Major Carter was filling in for me, I had to speak with her. I hear she's the best the army can offer. Can I speak with her?"   
  
Radar thought of what Captain Morgan had said about Carter and couldn't help but smile. "She does have quite a reputation," he muttered. "But she can't come to the phone."   
  
"Oh," Margaret said. "She must be in surgery. How commendable."   
  
"Actually, Major Houlihan," Radar began. "Major Carter isn't at the 4077th."   
  
"What?" Margaret cried into the phone, causing Radar's ear to ache. "What do you mean, not there? Who's filling in for me?"   
  
"Don't worry, Major," Radar said, trying to keep her calm. "She's sick with the flu. Headquarters sent Major Carter's second in command. Captain Morgan is taking care of everything."   
  
There was a long pause, and Radar was afraid he had lost the connection. He then heard Margaret's voice emerge, quiet and cold, in a tone he knew far too well. The tone that signaled she was about to explode. "Morgan? As in Claire Morgan?"   
  
"Um, yes, ma'am."   
  
Radar was forced to hold the phone away from his ear for almost a minute. He wasn't about to lose his hearing over the rampage of an overly hostile Major. When he was finally able to hold the receiver close to his ear again, Margaret had cooled down quite a bit, but he didn't want to spark any more explosions.   
  
"Where is Colonel Potter?" Margaret asked.   
  
"Uh, he's given the order not to be disturbed, ma'am-"   
  
"Well disturb him! This is important, you twerp!"   
  
"Yes, Major." Radar jumped out of his seat and ran into Colonel Potter's office. Potter was working on his latest painting, a very well detailed look at the mountains surrounding them in Korea. Potter was taking another delicate stroke of the horizon as Radar burst in. "Colonel!"   
  
Potter jumped, causing the brush to leap with him. He frowned. "Radar, look what you made me do," he cried. "Now the mountains are blending into the clouds. What is it?"   
  
"Major Houlihan's on the phone, sir," Radar rambled. "And she's hopping mad. She wanted to talk to you about Captain Morgan."   
  
"Morgan?" Colonel Potter looked confused. "What does Margaret care about Morgan. She's not causing any trouble." He sighed. "I'll take the call in here."   
  
Radar rushed outside and connected the call. He then held his ear-piece close to his ear to listen in. The first bit of conversation was incoherent; Margaret was yelling too much. But soon Potter calmed her down, and Margaret began to tell the entire story.   
  
Radar was still listening close when Hawkeye and B.J. walked into the office. "What are you doing, Radar?" B.J. asked.   
  
Radar turned towards them and held a finger to his lips. "Will you guys be quiet? I'm listening to the Colonel's conversation with Major Houlihan!"   
  
"Look, Beej," Hawkeye said. "Our company clerk has turned into a real Peeping Tom. Listening over the phone is a lot easier, though. Radar was never tall enough to peep over fences."   
  
"Come on," Radar said. "Cut it out. Major Houlihan is talking about Captain Morgan."   
  
That statement certainly grabbed Hawkeye's attention. "Why? What's she saying?"   
  
Radar listened again, but shook his head. "It's over now. I can only tell you what I heard."   
  
"Alright," Hawkeye said with a nod. "Spill, spill!" When Radar paused, he added, "Look, I promise I won't make any more short jokes."   
  
"You promised me the same thing last week!"   
  
Hawkeye shrugged. "I couldn't help it. The laces on my boots were crossed."   
  
B.J. jumped in. "Will you just tell us what you heard?"   
  
"Well, alright," Radar said. "Major Houlihan knew Captain Morgan from training, you know. And she's known for years that Captain Morgan never practices any form of army regulation-"   
  
"Neither do the best of us," B.J. interrupted. "So what?"   
  
Radar continued. "She's also got a horrible temper for higher ranking officers. She even knocked out a Colonel when he threatened to court martial her for helping in a secret operation on an enemy soldier."   
  
B.J. chuckled. "It's the Colonel's fault for having a glass jaw."   
  
"That's not all," Radar said, his voice full of amazement. "After that, she went AWOL for two weeks to make sure another patient got out of Korea without getting put back at the front. The CO at the 8063rd was nice enough only to transfer her to Major Carter. Can you believe it?"   
  
"Yeah," Hawkeye muttered. "The guy probably feared for his life. What did Potter say?"   
  
"He said that Captain Morgan wasn't causing any trouble and she's probably changed since then under Major Carter's influence. I just hope he's right."   
  
"You sure know how to pick 'em, Hawk," B.J. said. "Anything else, Radar?"   
  
Radar shrugged. "Just that Captain Morgan was staying put for the time being."   
  
"Let's just hope she doesn't do anything too rash," Hawkeye grumbled. "Or these two weeks are going to end a lot faster than I planned."   
  
  
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Claire Morgan sat in Post-Op, changing the bandages of the wounded along with the other nurses. As she peeked under a bandage over a deep chest wound, the patient stirred and awoke.   
  
"Are you a nurse?" He asked weakly.   
  
"I try to be," Claire answered. "But truthfully, I'm only a civilian in army clothing. Any pain?"   
  
He nodded, his teeth grit. She nodded and prepared a syringe of morphine. "I'm going to give you something for the pain so you can get some sleep."   
  
"Before you do that," he said. "I want to talk to you for a second." He reached under his blanket and pulled out a wad of money that was almost too thick to hold in one hand.   
  
"Trust me," Claire said. "I don't need any payment."   
  
He smiled. "No, it's not like that. Name's Harper. I won $800 bucks in a poker game two weeks ago."   
  
"Wow, that's great."   
  
"The thing is, I want to give this to my wife. She lives in a village just outside Seoul. She needs the money more than anything, but my parents aren't exactly happy with my marrying a Korean girl. They've disowned her, and they don't even know her. They think I divorced her, but I just can't. I love her, Captain. I really do."   
  
Claire nodded. "I'm sorry, but I don't know how I can help you."   
  
"I need you to help me send it to her," Harper answered. "But I can't have my parents know about any of it. If they found out I sent her $800 bucks, they'd kill me." He pulled out a picture from the pile of money, and Claire saw a beautiful, sweet faced Korean girl standing in front of a run-down shack.   
  
"Is that where she lives?" Claire asked. Harper nodded. He was right; this girl could use this money a lot more than anyone else who had a sturdy roof over their heads could.   
  
"Will you help me?" Harper asked, his eyes pleading with her.   
  
Claire bit her lip. This was going to be tough. If the parents caught wind of the money, they would likely fight the army for it, and she was sure the army would eventually fight her for it. But the girl was living in such poverty...   
  
"Don't worry, Harper," she said. "I'll find a way to get the money to her, even if I have to walk there myself." Harper grinned his thanks. "Now just sleep." She injected the morphine in his arm, took the money, and left.   
  
End of Part One  
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	2. Part 2

The New Nurse in Town - Part 2  
By Shell  
  
Two hours later, Claire sat in the VIP tent, staring at the money on the desk in front of her. She still held the picture in her fingertips, hoping the girl's image would inspire a plan. She sighed and decided a walk would help. When she walked outside, she was surprised to discover that it was early evening. She saw Nurse Kellye passing by, and she called out to her. "Hey, Kellye, do you know if Harper's awake? I want to talk to him."   
  
Kellye stopped and thought a moment. "Wasn't he the one with the chest wound?"   
  
"Yeah. Is he up?"   
  
"I'm sorry, Captain," Kellye said. "He died about twenty minutes ago. He had some lung complications." Claire nodded and Kellye walked off.   
  
Claire walked aimlessly around the compound for fifteen minutes more determined now to help Harper's wife. She was deep in thought when a voice called from behind her.   
  
"Hey, are you Captain Morgan?"   
  
She turned to see a wounded soldier limping towards her, a cast on his right leg. When she nodded, he smiled. "You're a lot cuter than Harper mentioned."   
  
Her eyes widened. "You knew Harper?"   
  
He nodded. "Oh yeah, Tim and I were buddies. He was a good guy. He told me yesterday about you, and I think you can find a way to send this to his parents. He handed her a picture. "This is Tim in front of his parent's house. I think they would want it back."   
  
Claire recognized Harper in the picture, but what surprised her most was the house he was standing in front of. In one word, it was huge. A mansion was more like it. The house was an immaculate white with Roman columns lining the front. Claire could almost see the deep green of the lawn from the black and white photo. "This is quite a house," Claire said.   
  
"Yeah," the soldier said. "I was always surprised Tim's parents couldn't find a way to buy him out of the draft. But the way Tim described them, they hang onto every penny they get and are always scrounging for more. You should have heard how happy they were when they found out about Tim's big poker winnings-"   
  
Claire's eyes widened. "Poker winnings?"   
  
He nodded. "Yeah, two weeks ago Harper really raked it in. He won $800 bucks. His folks flipped."   
  
"Did you tell them?" She asked.   
  
"Yeah, they called all the way from the states to see how Tim was. He was on guard duty, so I took the call for him. I have to get Tim's money somehow and sent it to them. They made me promise to get it to them somehow."   
  
Claire frowned. This new development just made her entire day a whole lot worse. Getting the money to Harper's wife wasn't going to be as easy as she had hoped. "Did Tim ever tell you if he was married?"   
  
The soldier thought a moment, then shook his head. "No. Tim and I were close, Captain. He would have told me. I'm sure."   
  
Unless he was so afraid someone would tell his parents about her, she thought. "Why don't you get some rest? You've probably had a long day."   
  
He nodded. "It was a pleasure, Captain." With that, he limped off to Post-Op.   
  
  
  
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Fifteen minutes later, Claire sat at the bar in the 4077th's Officer's Club, deep in thought. She could get the money to the girl, but the parents would soon get suspicious after a certain amount of time, and the 4077th would be to blame. Her record was bad enough without adding theft to it.   
  
"What are you having, Captain?"   
  
Claire had been so absorbed in her thought she hadn't seen the bartender approach. When she looked up, her eyes discovered a man dressed in a long red evening gown, a pearl necklace, matching earrings, and long white gloves. She was shocked for a moment, but the realization soon hit her, and she grinned. "Corporal Klinger, I presume."   
  
"In the flesh," Klinger responded with a smile. "So what do you want to drink?"   
  
"Scotch and water, but hold the water. And make it a double."   
  
Klinger's eyebrows rose. "Rough night, Captain? People usually don't order doubles until they've been here for at least two days."   
  
"You could say that," Claire muttered. She pulled out the two pictures she had been given. "You remember the kid with the bad chest wound?" When Klinger nodded, she continued. "He won $800 bucks in a poker game and wanted be to give it to his wife." She held up the photo. "Unfortunately, it also happens that his parents want the money too, and they hate the wife. But it's not like these parents need the money. Look where they live." She handed Klinger the photo of the house.   
  
He whistled in astonishment. "That's the kind of place I'd like to be in," he said. "Where does the wife live?"   
  
"Outside Seoul," Claire answered. "The problem is, if I take the money to her, the parents, along with the army, will be on my hide, and that is the last thing I need."   
  
"Why not let the army take care of it?" Klinger asked, handing her the drink.   
  
She shook her head. "The parents will get it in a flash. It would just be another couple pennies to add to their fortune."   
  
Klinger shook his head. "That's rough, Captain. I wish I could help."   
  
She smiled. "Don't worry about it." She drowned the last of her drink. "I'll just have to sleep on it. Thanks, Klinger." He nodded, and she walked out of the Officer's Club.   
  
Outside, she spotted Radar busily loading a jeep with supplies. "What's going on, Radar?"   
  
"Not much, Captain," he answered. "I just have to take these supplies down to the hospital in Seoul."   
  
Claire's eyes brightened. Someone was certainly watching her from above. "When are you leaving?"   
  
"Five minutes," he said, tying down the boxes in the back seat.   
  
"Radar, you have to take me with you."   
  
He looked up and gasped. "What? Are you crazy? I can't do that…Colonel Potter will kill me."   
  
"Sure you can. I'll take full responsibility." She had often heard herself say that phrase. Oh well. Here we go again… "Just let me get something from my tent." Claire ran back to her tent, grabbed the money, and ran back.   
  
Radar looked horribly frightened. "Captain-"   
  
"Radar, are you going to make me pull rank on you? I hate doing that."   
  
Radar sighed. "Yeah, you and Captain Pierce. Get in." He remembered the time Hawkeye had gotten Radar to drive him to meet Trapper John's plane before he left for home. They had missed Trapper by ten minutes, but they did find one of the 4077th's new surgeons, B.J. Hunnicutt.   
  
Claire grinned. "Thanks, Radar. Move over, I'll drive."   
  
Radar slid into the passenger seat as Claire started the jeep. "Captain, may I ask why you have to go to Seoul?"   
  
"Long story," she replied, driving out of the compound. "I'll explain on the way."   
  
They were well on their way when Claire finished the entire story. Radar nodded with understanding. "Just one question, Captain. What are you going to do when the parents start looking for the money?"   
  
Claire shrugged. "I'll figure that out when I come to it. I'm making this up as I go, Radar."   
  
"Captain-"   
  
She smiled. "It's just Claire, Radar."   
  
"Ok, Claire. Did anyone at the 4077th tell you that you remind them of Captain Pierce?"   
  
She laughed. "No, I haven't gotten that one. May I ask where you got a question like that from?"   
  
He shrugged his small shoulders. "I don't know. You're a lot like him, but you're a girl. I mean, look at what you're doing now. You're risking your neck to help someone you don't even know. Captain Pierce probably would have done the same thing. But I'm pretty sure he's never punched anyone out."   
  
Claire laughed even harder. "Thanks, Radar. Looks like you've heard about my record. Trust me, that Colonel deserved it. I'd do it again if I had the chance." They rode along in silence until Radar spotted Seoul in the distance. Soon the silhouettes of small shacks could be seen, and Claire knew she was at her destination.   
  
She pulled the jeep to a stop and hopped out, taking the money and pictures with her. "Looks like this is my stop. Pick me up here in two hours," she ordered.   
  
Radar nodded as he slid into the driver's seat. "Good luck, Captain," he said. "But I gotta tell you, this is never going to work. It's too dark and the chances of finding anyone-"   
  
"Let me take care of it, Radar," she said. "Just give me two hours. And thanks for the ride." He started up the jeep and drove off, disappearing behind a bend.   
  
Claire knew Radar was partially right-finding one person in an entire village would be close to impossible. She didn't even know the name of Harper's wife. But she'd been in worse messes before and come out successful. Why should this be any different? Claire sighed and headed into the village, keeping an eye on every face she saw.   
  
  
  
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It had been an hour and a half with no success. Most of the villagers met Claire's glances with fear or anger, and she had almost come close to getting kicked out of the village by a mob of angry farmers with pitchforks. She pushed her way through crowds, searching every face, focusing on every detail.   
  
Finally, with only fifteen minutes to spare, Claire stopped and looked around, frustrated and beaten. She could barely see through the darkness, and she still had to find her way back to where Radar was going to pick her up. With a heavy sigh, she turned around-   
  
And immediately smacked into a young girl carrying a large basket. Surprisingly, she offered her apologies in English, and Claire took a moment to study her face. She immediately gasped. It was Harper's wife, it had to be. Pulling out the picture, she saw that the two women matched perfectly.   
  
"Are you married?" She asked quickly. There was little time to waste.   
  
"Yes." The girl nodded, her accent thick. "My husband is Tim. Why?"   
  
Claire pulled the money from her pocket and put it into the girl's hand. "He wanted you to have this. I'm very sorry, but he died a few hours ago." Tears immediately sprung to the girl's eyes, and Claire wished she had time to comfort. "I have to go. Tim loved you very much. He wanted you to be happy."   
  
"Thank you," the girl's voice was barely a whisper. "Thank you very much. Who are you?"   
  
"There's no time for that," Claire said, pulling away. "I have to go. Good luck." With that, she ran off, pushing her way through the crowd. By the time she got back to the main road, Radar was just pulling up in the jeep. He immediately began driving off when she got in.   
  
"You find her?" Radar asked.   
  
Claire nodded with a grin as she sat back in her seat. "Yeah, I did. Now that the hard part is done, all I have to do is figure out how to get the parents off my back. But there's no sense in worrying now; I should have at least a few days to think about it. Let's just get home."   
  
  
  
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Radar was sitting at his desk an hour after he and Captain Morgan had arrived back at camp. Luckily no one had noticed them leave or return, and no wounded had come in. The entire camp had gone to bed, and all Radar had to do was finish the daily report, carefully editing his passenger on the trip to Seoul. He was just about to settle in with his trusty Teddy bear when the phone rang.   
  
"4077 M*A*S*H."   
  
He had barely listened to two seconds of what the speaker said to him when his heart stopped. He quickly put the speaker on hold and grabbed his robe to put over his pajamas. Running to the VIP tent in his bare feet, he immediately burst in. "Captain Morgan!"   
  
Claire rolled on her side and groaned. "What is it, Radar?" She asked, her voice groggy. "Are there more wounded?"   
  
"No," he cried. "Even worse. The Harpers are on the phone, and they want their money!"   
  
"What?" Claire was immediately out of bed and on her feet. She grabbed ran back to the office with Radar in the T-shirt and shorts she slept in, not caring to find her robe. Picking up the phone, she introduced herself as calmly as possible, pretending not to be aware of Harper's situation. Listening to Mrs. Harper babble the entire story bought Claire some time, but when Mrs. Harper finished, her mind was still scrambling for an idea.   
  
There was a long pause as Claire bit her lip. "Well, Mrs. Harper," she began, keeping her voice steady. "My company clerk has just informed me that Corporal Harper's money has, well, already been claimed."   
  
The woman practically exploded into the phone. When she finally calmed down, she asked the question Claire had prayed she wouldn't ask. "Who claimed the money?" Claire said. "Well, Mrs. Harper, that is a very good question. Give me a moment to check my records." She paused and looked to Radar, who only shrugged in desperation. Claire couldn't think of anyone that she hated enough to pin theft on them. She was trapped.   
  
Mrs. Harper was threatening to sue her by now. "Just be patient, Mrs. Harper," Claire said gently. "The company clerk is working as fast as he can. It's the middle of the night here you know."   
  
"Just tell her that a Captain Tuttle claimed it."   
  
Claire turned suddenly at the voice and saw Hawkeye standing in the doorway. She put her hand over the receiver. "Tuttle? Who's Tuttle?"   
  
"Will that work?" Radar asked.   
  
"Just do it," Hawkeye said with a smile. "And tell her he's in the Navy and at sea right now. I'll explain in a minute."   
  
Mrs. Harper seemed satisfied with this information, and the conversation was soon, and thankfully, over. Claire turned to Hawkeye after she hung up the phone. "Now who's this Tuttle person? I hope he isn't a friend of yours."   
  
"He's not," Hawkeye said. "He doesn't really know anyone."   
  
Radar nodded. "He doesn't exist."   
  
"Trapper John and I created him a long time ago to help us get medical supplies for the orphanage. The guy's done everything, now including giving a much-deserved widow her husband's money. Mrs. Harper will get so caught up in army and navy red tape she'll give up after a few weeks." When Claire gave him a questioning look, he held up a hand. "Klinger and I had a little chat while you were gone. I got the whole story."   
  
Claire smiled. "Thanks, Hawkeye. I owe you for this one."   
  
He grinned with a small chuckle. "You certainly do. I had to tell Colonel Potter that you were with me for a couple hours. But don't worry, I'll find some way for you to pay me back."   
  
"I'm certain you will," Claire said, walking out of the office doors. Hawkeye soon caught up with her, putting an arm around her shoulders. "How about dinner?" He asked. "Definitely not now, I was in the middle of a conversation with my pillow."   
  
She laughed. "Alright, how about Friday night?"   
  
"I have to wait until Friday?" Hawkeye looked disappointed. "That seems so far away. The war could end before that."   
  
They had reached her tent by now. She smiled and pulled away from his arm. "Well, if the war ends, we can have dinner in San Francisco. But until then, remember that patience is a virtue." With that, she turned and shut the door of her tent.   
  
  
  
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The rest of Claire's two weeks seemed to fly by incredibly fast. Hawkeye spent a good amount of his time with her, and she was happy to discover he was a much better person than the rumors had described. Colonel Potter had told her repeatedly that he was impressed with her work, and that she should come again any time Major Houlihan was away. If only Major Carter would allow such a chance…But Claire knew she wouldn't. When her CO transferred her to Major Carter, it was more punishment than forgiveness. Carter was cold, nasty, and strict. She demanded perfection, and no matter how hard Claire tried, she could never live up to what Carter wanted.   
  
Working with Carter had always been a chore, but it did make her a better nurse. Maybe even a nurse that Margaret Houlihan could appreciate.   
  
Claire was sitting on her bunk when Radar ran in to tell her the news: Margaret's jeep had finally arrived. Claire followed Radar outside, trying to straighten her uniform just a bit. Margaret was standing with an air of dignity that Claire had always secretly wanted for herself. Colonel Potter was standing beside her, and they seemed to be in a pleasant conversation.   
  
Margaret noticed her as she approached. "Captain Morgan," she said. "It's been a long time. I hear you've been working quite well in my place."   
  
She nodded. "Yes, Major. It was a pleasure."   
  
Margaret's smile was barely noticeable. "Yes, well, I hope you enjoyed your stay. I'm sure Major Carter will be here soon to pick you up."   
  
"Hold your horses, Major," Colonel Potter said, holding up a hand. "Don't be so quick to kick Captain Morgan out so fast. Don't you two know each other?"   
  
"We did, Colonel," Margaret said icily. "But that was a long time ago."   
  
Colonel Potter glanced between the two women, seeing the cold glares that each one shot to each other. He swallowed as the three of them fell into an awkward silence.   
  
Luckily Captain Morgan broke the silence first. "Well, I better get my things together," she said. "Good day, Colonel. I hope you had a good trip, Major." She then turned on her heel and walked back to the VIP tent.   
  
"I'm certainly glad she'll be leaving very soon, Colonel," Margaret said.   
  
"What is it with you two?" Potter asked, a hint of anger in his voice. "The anger in your eyes is enough to burn through steel!"   
  
Margaret sighed in exasperation. "We had a bit of a falling out, I'm afraid. Colonel, you just can't understand…"   
  
Potter crossed his arms over his chest. "Try me, Margaret."   
  
She paused for a moment, then continued. "Claire Morgan is a disgrace to the United States Army. She has no respect for authority or higher ranking officers."   
  
Potter shrugged. "Neither do Pierce and Hunnicutt, but we still keep them around."   
  
She shook her head. "That's not the same, Colonel. Pierce and Hunnicutt are childish and pranksters, but they are exceptional surgeons. Claire is rash and entirely too bold. That's why we could never continue to be friends. We're just too different."   
  
"A lot can happen with time, Margaret. I believe Captain Morgan has changed since you knew her. She's a fine nurse," Potter said. "An exceptionally fine nurse. She filled in for you better than I ever could have expected. Frankly, I made a request for her to be transferred here."   
  
Margaret was shocked. "Colonel, you can't be serious…"   
  
"I am, Major. I certainly am. You've always told me you could use some help, and we can't let someone with her skill sit around in Tokyo filling water pitchers. If HQ puts in her transfer before she leaves, Captain Morgan will be assistant Head Nurse. And that's that."   
  
Margaret was stunned into silence, and she stood for a long moment harnessing her anger. She didn't even notice when Radar appeared behind her.   
  
"Have a good trip, Major?" He asked.   
  
"What do you care?" She cried.   
  
Radar looked puzzled, but Potter simply shook his head. "What is it, Radar?"   
  
"Captain Morgan's transfer orders just came through from HQ," he said. "Her jeep won't be coming. Looks like she's not going anywhere for awhile."   
  
Margaret bit her lip. "Colonel, it's apparent that I have no choice in the matter at this moment. But if she makes too many mistakes-"   
  
"Don't worry, Major," Potter replied. "If there are any problems, I'll handle it personally." He turned to Radar. "You better go tell Captain Morgan to unpack in one of the nurse's tents." Radar nodded quickly and strode off.   
  
When Radar entered the VIP tent, he immediately noticed Hawkeye Pierce lounging at the desk while Captain Morgan sat on her cot. "Captain Morgan?"   
  
"What is it, Radar?" Hawkeye asked. "Your little body looks all aquiver."   
  
Radar shot Hawkeye a sharp look. "Cut that out!" He whispered harshly. Turning back to Claire, he said, "Captain Morgan just got new transfer orders. You've been transferred here. Colonel Potter said you can unpack in one of the nurse's tents."   
  
"Staying?" Hawkeye cried. He jumped out of his chair and grasped Radar by the shoulders. "Radar, I could kiss you right now, but I can't bend down that far."   
  
Claire stood from her seat and hugged Radar. "I probably won't be so happy to be here in a few weeks, so I'll hug you now. Thanks, Radar."   
  
Radar shrugged and blushed slightly. "Don't mention it."   
  
"Well, this calls for a toast," Hawkeye declared, pouring himself and Claire a drink. "To Claire: welcome to the 4077th. At times it will be the pit of Hell, and at the same time, a barely livable cesspool. But, it's home. At least for now."   
  
  
The End  
  
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